Long Live
by livingislovingyou
Summary: Hermione Granger and Severus Snape have changed the world with two amazing potions that will cure the victims of War, but on her 21st Birthday Hermione receives a letter from Severus, saying that he is engaged to another. This is the story of how they fell in love, and how it can make a good girl do bad things to protect her heart. EWE. SSxHG
1. Prologue

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

**Prologue**

_**The Daily Prophet, 19th September 2000**_

_On this day, the world has changed as we know it. The Wizarding world has barely managed putting back together the pieces that the Second War left us, and some scars that were left behind were previously thought to be unfixable – the ones left behind by the Unforgivable curses. _

_Hermione Granger (Golden Trio member) and Professor Severus Snape (Pardoned war criminal and potions master) have patented two potions that are going to change the lives of many sufferers from both Wizarding Wars. The first patent, reverses nerve damage and complications that are obtained from long doses of the Cruciatus Curse. Though the potions experts that were involved in trialling the "cure" were initially sceptical, they are happy to report that two of the most well-known victims of the curse, are now re-integrating themselves into the family they once had to leave behind. Frank and Alice Longbottom are said to be "joyful" about being able to see their son grow up._

_The second patent is a much more complicated potion, and helps treat the anxiety that victims of the Imperius Curse experience. Those who have been unwillingly exposed to this curse have a 17% higher rate of suicide, and often struggle to manage in normal Wizarding society as their anxiety takes over. Miss Granger who is now studying under Professor Snape for her Masters in potions, has explained that she felt "extremely apologetic" to the Goblins that were placed under this curse by her comrades, during her break-in at Gringott's bank, and all Goblins that were subject to this have been given the potion to alleviate any anxiety they may experience. _

_Both Potions will be available for free at St Mungo's and at smaller Wizarding clinics within the month, a project that is funded by both the Ministry of Magic and various patrons (including Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger and the Malfoy Family) those who are interested in either potion can write to St Mungo's for details, though you may be subjected to a physical health-check before either potion is administered. _

_On behalf of the Daily Prophet I would like to thank the Potion-making pair for spending their own time and money in order to cure the people who were damaged in the past. I would like to close this article with a statement from Professor Snape, and one from Miss Granger._

"_I'm glad that some of the wrongs that I have caused by being a Death Eater, can partially be corrected, although I'm aware that not everything can be forgiven. I would not have even thought to begin work on either potion, if not for the know-it-all that is Hermione Granger constantly knocking on my door, coercing me into helping her make these potions. While some of the technicalities in these potions are in place due to my skill, the ideas were completely that of Hermione Granger and she deserves the credit."_

_**- Severus Snape (Order of Merlin, First Class)**_

"_Severus was initially not confident in my ideas, and I had to camp for a week outside his door and be escorted away by Aurors nine times, before he agreed to help me work. But it has been a pleasure to give something back to the community, and to work with such an experienced Potion's Master. Witnessing him work is truly a life altering experience, and the man was born with a gift. The gift, though heavily masked by a tainted past, was to help the Wizarding world."_

_**- Hermione Granger (Order of Merlin, First Class)**_

_Article and Photos by Dennis Creevey _

**-o-**

Hermione Granger woke the morning of her 21st birthday thinking that her heart might burst, she lay looking up at the ceiling and wishing that it was not the end of an era. Today the work that she and Severus had spent two years brewing, was going to be unveiled to the world... And he wasn't here to spend it with her. There was something unsettling about the tightness in her chest, not even when her engagement to Ronald Weasley was broken, did she feel this utterly heartbroken and helpless.

The only thing that managed to wake her from her sorrow, was the ungraceful was that her owl dropped a copy of the Daily Prophet on her face, and then she was merely reunited with the scowling face of Severus Snape. Exasperated she got out of bed and walked sleepily down the stairs of the newly-renovated Burrow, to be greeted by cheers and cries. It did not take long for Molly Weasley to pull her into a tight hug, and without meaning to Hermione slipped into what she called her "public face" the one she had perfected after the war had ended. The one that made no one question her happiness, because she had that same empty smile on her face.

"Oh my, has Harry gotten more fan mail?" she asked dumbly, pointing to eight sacks of letters that were leant up against the table. It was only as she inspected them more closely, that she noticed that they were all addressed to her. It was quite overwhelming, and it only made the pain of being away from Severus, that much harder. Currently he was holidaying in the French Alps with one of the Greengrass sisters... Which merely annoyed Hermione. "Well, these letters are so lovely. I just don't think I have time to read them all!" she giggled, and took a seat next to George Weasley who had rather unceremoniously began to eat her birthday cake.

As Hermione's plate was filled with bacon and eggs, she listened to the praise of all the Weasley's (Including Harry, who was an honorary Weasley due to his engagement to Ginny) and tried to sound gracious. The only reprieve from the acting, was when a familiar looking owl flew through the window, holding a letter and small brown parcel. The Gryffindor's heart swelled as she tried not to grab Severus' letter too eagerly, she wouldn't want anyone to know that she loved him... Especially since there was no reciprocation.

_Hermione, _

_I would like to wish you a very Happy 21st Birthday, and to congratulate you on our mutual success with the potions. I stand by the fact that it was your idea, and that it could not have happened without you, though I don't want to argue this point with you again. I have enclosed a small gift, nothing outlandish, and would like you to be the first person to know that I'm now engaged. Daphne and I will be married in December and I was wondering if you would officiate the ceremony? It won't be romantic, you know that I don't fully believe in love; but Daphne insists on a huge wedding and I have too many galleons in my bank, to deprive her. Once again wishing you a happy birthday._

_Severus Snape, and Daphne Greengrass (Soon to be Snape)_

_P.S. I will kill Dennis Creevey one day, for publishing that awful photo of me._

As the brunette beauty cried her tears in front of almost everyone she loved, she recounted the times that had made her fall in love with Severus Snape.


	2. Mad World

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

_All around me are familiar faces  
>Worn out places, worn out faces<br>Bright and early for the daily races  
>Going nowhere, going nowhere<em>

_Their tears are filling up their glasses  
>No expression, no expression<br>Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow  
>No tomorrow, no tomorrow<em>

**Chapter One – Mad World**

Hogwarts was not the same after the Second War, and as Severus Snape followed an eager Hermione Granger into the dungeons of the castle, he found it hard to breathe. The portraits looked at him with betrayed faces, and it was as though the castle was altogether trying to reject his presence. Hermione didn't seem to notice, and instead joyfully explained the ideas she had made, and asked him trivial potion-related questions.

It was almost too much as he walked into his old classroom, taking in the familiar sights and scents of the potion's lab. The rusting cauldrons sat unused and unloved, textbooks strewn around, and one of his former students looking at him as though he was a saint. The Professor walked up to his old desk, lowering himself into the seat and glancing around the room with new eyes.

"Miss Granger, I do require you to shut up." he said simply, causing her to cease talking and stare at him with a quizzical expression. He placed his hands on the desk, and sighed. "Dragon blood cannot be used in this potion, it cannot be made hypo-allergenic. We need this potion to be consumable by all, and charms to make it so, may render it useless. So stop right there with that train of thought..."

Hermione opened her mouth to object, but instead pulled out a notebook and began writing notes down. Severus had not been aware that his utterance had been note-worthy, but Gryffindor's always were a sentimental bunch... "Sir, have you read the journal that Neville Longbottom submitted about Mandrake Root helping to cure Alzheimers? Since the Cruciatus curse can affect ones memory, maybe that's a good place to start?" she questioned, waiting for some rebuff, but was pleasantly surprised when he summoned a book and began bookmarking pages of interest.

**-o-**

"How many times do I have to tell you that you are using the wrong part of the blade to cut?" Severus snapped, snatching the dagger that his former student was holding, and demonstrating the correct way to dissect her ingredients. "You pierce with the tip, and use the force from the back of the blade to cut it. Cut things like you are, and you'll only cut yourself." he sniffed, it wasn't the direction but the tone of voice that he used that riled Hermione.

"I'm not your student anymore and will not be treated as such. If you have a suggestion then by all means tell me, but do not bark at me as though I am a pet!" her brow was sweaty and her hair and somehow frizzed up, Severus couldn't help himself from smirking. The surly Gryffindor quickly returned to cut roots up as her former teacher counted back from five in his head.

"Shit!" Hermione exclaimed, holding up her bleeding finger; she wasn't sure if she'd cut the tip off or not. There was just so much blood. Severus didn't move, didn't swoop in to save her. Instead he let her bleed all over the table, this wasn't a time for heroics. This was the time for her to listen to him, he _had_ warned her after all. "Sir, do you have any Essence of Dittany?"

"I do." he put simply, and walked over to his desk with a book. Hermione held her finger as though it was falling off, and looked at him pleadingly. It wouldn't work, he wasn't going to give her the remedy. "But I shall not give it you, Miss Granger. If you need the potion then brew it."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing, how could he watch her suffer and not give her the simple solution that would help her? Oh wait, this was Severus Snape that she was dealing with. "What sort of unfeeling bastard are you? I'm bleeding!"

"Women bleed once a month and still managed to brew, and insults will not change my mind. Death eater scum, greasy bastard, dungeon bat. I've heard them all, the fact is if you had listened to my instruction and not gone on one of the famous Gryffindor rants that you and your friends are so fond of, you would not be bleeding and we would not be having this altercation." he flicked through the pages of his book, Hermione couldn't see the title but Snape hadn't looked up from it, so it must have been interesting.

Hermione went to the supplies cupboard and grabbed the ingredients she needed for her potion. It didn't take long to brew, and the Gryffindor spent her time gazing into the potion and glaring at the sadistic Potion's master who continued to read, undisturbed by her pain. The minute she applied the potion to her finger, she felt better. Well, except for the fact her parter in potions would rather see her finger be severed than help her... But what could be done about it?

**-o-**

Hermione Granger placed her engagement ring on Severus' desk, before sitting down to read through the notes that he had left her to inspect. The Professor had gone to the Apothecary to source ingredients and order in large quantities of Tibetan Turnip. It was nice to have some time to think, without him bellowing all of the things she had done wrong. Her thoughts were interrupted by the shaking, it began as it always did. Her mind went cloudy, the scars on her arm began to burn and the shaking took over; falling off her chair was only mildly painful, the humiliation of not being able to get up made it worse. The mortification was only made more painful when Severus walked in to discover her laid on the floor in a puddle of her own tears. He didn't immediately help her up, she screamed at him to go away first, too humiliated to accept his help. But how else would she get up? Her limbs were paralysing and she could do nothing about it.

"How long did they torture you?" he asked later that evening, when Hermione was wrapped up in a blanket with a cup of tea that she could barely manage to lift. "Your nerves are damaged beyond comprehension. How are you able to function?" his words weren't intended to be cruel, but they sliced her like a knife nonetheless.

"I've given up my engagement for this, I've emptied my bank account for this venture. You're not having my memories too. You don't need to know everything." she hissed, getting so worked up that the boiling hot water she spilt on her leg, had to affect on her pain receptors. She was going too far into the dark side of her mind now, nothing would pull her out.

"Why is your engagement of any relevance?" he said in a rather snarky tone, he didn't like being denied information about anything. "Weasley can't handle you or something?"

"Who wants a bride who can't undress her husband? My hands shake too much. I spend all my time in a lab with a man my husband hates, and he doesn't get it... He just doesn't. I'm not doing this for me, I put myself in front of danger but what of the muggleborns and half-bloods that were tortured whilst eating their dinner? I'm doing it for them."

What indeed. If anyone else has spoken the word she had, he would accuse them of vanity and self pity, but it was the way she didn't tear up as she spoke, that made Severus Snape believe her. "Well, why are you wallowing in self pity? We have work to do, don't we?" his heart leapt when she nodded and shakily stood up.

**-o-**

**(A/N) I hope you liked this first chapter, and the prologue. Thanks for reading, it would be much appreciated if you gave feedback, favourited or followed this story! **


	3. Broken Hearted Girl

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

_You're everything I thought you never were__  
><em>_And nothing like about you could've been__  
><em>_But still you lived inside of me__  
><em>_So tell me how is that__  
><em> 

**Chapter Two – Broken Hearted Girl**

_**18th September, 1998**_

"Miss Granger, you seem very... Unnerved today." Severus Snape commented as he watched her file different notes, with a look of such contempt on her face, that he would be proud to call her a Slytherin. Hermione didn't reply to his comment, she looked up and scowled. Furiously opening ring binders and closing them with a loud snap.

"Lavender. Fucking. Brown." she muttered under her breath, only just loud enough for the most experienced of spies to overhear it, and Severus had quickly decided not to question it... Until Hermione threw all of the notes that she had just taken such care to file, on the floor. "Lavender. Fucking. Brown!" she screamed and began stomping on the paperwork. The Potion's Master was going to interject, but the hysterical witch was now throwing textbooks around for no apparent reason.

"Calm yourself, witch. This is no way to behave around the ingredients we have procured." his voice was not at all raised, but he spoke in such a strong and sarcastic way that Hermione couldn't help but sigh and inwardly scream. "I take it Weasley has gotten engaged to the other Gryffindor nitwit?" he looked over on his desk to see a huge article on the front page, informing him otherwise.

**LAVENDER BROWN: MY NIGHTS OF PASSION WITH RONALD WEASLEY AND HARRY POTTER. THE REAL GOLDEN TRIO. DON'T TELL HERMIONE.**

**Rita Skeeter: So Lavender, darling! Tell us how all of this started. How on Earth did these romps even begin? **

**Lavender Brown: Well, Rita. It all started about three months ago when Ronald knocked on my door, he was furious with his fiancée at the time because she had spent most of her time chasing around Severus Snape and moaning on about potions. She always was a bookworm.**

**Rita Skeeter: But how was Harry involved? He's been involved with Ginny Weasley on and off for years, everyone knows that. I can't imagine the youngest Weasley taking this information lightly!**

**Lavender Brown: Well I had sex with Ronald when Hermione was away... And I had Harry when Ginny was. At least Harry and Ginny were broken up at the time when we had sex, Ronald didn't seem to care. He'd literally leave my bedchambers and then go to meet Hermione for a cake tasting, it was rather vile in my opinion. **

**Rita Skeeter: Oh, Merlin! And do you have any evidence to back this up? **

**Lavender Brown: I have one of those muggle iPhones, we bought one for eachother so we could communicate discreetly. He told Hermione it was for auror training, she believed him of course. I can show you all of the naughty things he said to me...**

**Full story on page three...**

"It's my birthday tomorrow, and the only card that's been sent to me is one from Ronald saying how sorry he is. I don't even know what to say." she wasn't crying, she didn't sound angry. Instead, she sounded resigned to the pain, void of all emotion. This was not a path that Severus would wish for anyone, even feeling the pain is better than feeling the emptiness. "I just can't do it anymore. I didn't try to hurt anyone, I'm trying to help people. I thought the end of the war would bring unity... But what did it really bring?" she slumped into the desk chair, and Severus had to bite his tongue, and refrain from reminding her that she was sitting in his seat.

"I thought we were here to make a potion, not to moan about ex lovers." he said rather cruelly. It was meant to ignite anger from her, but instead she shot him a look of pure, unadulterated hatred. "Oh don't look like that, you finding out today doesn't change what happened. You have said multiple times it was a relief to break off the engagement so don't wallow now that you've found out he's a cheat. Use it to your advantage, never go back to him. Know that he's probably ruined his career with the bad press, and you're going to change the world. Don't throw around amateur dramatics and evil looks, because I will not hesitate to hex you."

**-o-**

_**19th September 1998**_

Hermione had managed to control her shakes for at least a week now, the progress they had made on the potion had been trialled on the young scholar, and appeared to be having quite the remarkable effect. Heartbroken or not, it was nice to be able to open her presents without shaking like an addict.

There were seven presents in total – one from Harry (who she was still mad at, for being part of the "New Golden Trio) one from Molly and Arthur, one from Ginny, one from George, one from Neville and Luna, one from Minerva McGonnagall and surprisingly... One from Severus Snape.

Leaving the Potion Master's gift until last, she admired the books and perfumes that she had received from her friends, but couldn't wait any longer to unwrap the last box. Underneath the silver wrapping paper, there was a blue velvet box, that was lined with the most beautiful shade of blue silk. It took a moment for her to open it, as the box was so beautiful in itself, but inside was a small piece of paper and an exquisite crystal phial for potions.

_Miss Granger, when we perfect this potion then the first dose will go to you. We can bottle it in this phial, and when you drink it down all of the tears spilt will be worth it. You will be a true note-worthy heroine, and Ronald Weasley will probably have dragon-herpes. _

_- S.S_

**-o-**

_**December 29th 1998**_

"I want to make another potion." Hermione stated, stirring the pink liquid in the cauldron in front of her. "I want to make one for anxiety, I was reading an article about the high risk of suicide in those who have been under the Imperius curse. I'm sure we could help those people."

Severus didn't look up, he just nodded and summoned a book towards him. It was like deja vu, as she watched the Potion Master bookmark pages of interest in several books, and the young witch couldn't stop herself from grinning as she added more Tibetan turnip to the cauldron.

"Hermione I have no doubts that we will create both potions, but please don't bombard me with more ideas unless one of our ideas has been successful. Two potions is my maximum to develop at one time, as I know your Gryffindor mentality means you want to save the world, but I'm an old man who can see himself spending the rest of my life in this dungeon with you if I take aboard anymore of your ambitions." the smirk on his face let Hermione know that he had no ill intent with his words, and her heart fluttered slightly as she imagined his words becoming true.


	4. Halo

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

_Remember those walls I built__  
><em>_Well Baby they are turning down__  
><em>_And they didn't even put up a fight__  
><em>_They didn't even make a sound__  
><em>_I found a way to let you in__  
><em>_But I never really had a doubt__  
><em>_Standing in the light of your halo__  
><em>_I got my angel now__  
><em> 

**Chapter Three – Halo**

_**18th March 1999**_

"We fucking did it!" Hermione screamed and threw her arms around the Potion's Master who for the first time in her life, she could see was wearing a massive grin. Severus' arms wrapped around her and he pulled her in for a desperate hug, that neither of them seemed to want to separate from. It was at least three minutes before the pair managed to remove themselves from one another, and immediately they began to smile at Frank and Alice Longbottom – who held eachother tearfully and called out for the son they had missed growing up. Hermione wiped a tear away from her face, and leant on Severus' shoulder as she gazed upon the loved-up couple, who looked as though they would burst from happiness.

"So are you one of Neville's friends?" Alice asked Hermione, reaching out to grab her hand. "Tell me, did he make Gryffindor? What interests did he have? Oh I bet he loved Quidditch, and was quite the ladies man... I can't wait for him to get here. I can't thank you both enough for what you have done for us. We get to have a proper chance at being a family."

"It's no problem. Neville is a very brave young man, he loves Herbology and Quidditch, though he's better at observing Quidditch than he is playing it. He's engaged to a lovely girl called Luna Lovegood, she's beautiful – a Ravenclaw. He's very happy and he played a very big part in the downfall of Voldemort."

**-o-**

_**Later that day...**_

Hermione was pushed against the wall, hard and she couldn't breathe as her neck was assaulted by a succession of fierce kisses. Severus Snape had began to pull his clothes off, and between the furious lip locking, had somehow managed to remove Hermione's dress.

"What are you-" Hermione began as she was promptly dropped, she expected the worst as she looked up, but instead Severus grinned at her and removed his belt; this was probably the sexiest moment of her life, and she felt like being bad for once. The Gryffindor was already on the floor, and took advantage of this as she crawled over to her ex-professor, looking up at him from her knees, never once breaking her glance as his boxers were pulled down and as she took him into her mouth. Severus groaned and placed his hands on her shoulders to steady himself, lapping up the pleasure as she used her hand and mouth to take him in.

"You're going to be the death of me, witch." he remarked, his knees nearly buckling as he felt himself hit the back of her throat – her gag reflex was truly remarkable. "Stop." he said simply, as his length tightened, he didn't want this to end without making her scream. Hermione did as he asked, and leant back on her elbows, holding out her hand; Severus took hold of it, and was pulled on top of her so that they were messing around on the floor like horny teenagers.

Hermione gasped as her knickers (a lace creation) were pulled down, and Severus inserted one practised finger inside of her, her entire body tensed as she hoped he didn't notice, but being the know-it-all he was...

"You're a virgin." he said simply, and his tone was clear that this entire situation was a mistake.

**-o-**

_**22nd December 1999**_

"You're going to be gone how long?" Hermione asked Severus with a wide-eyed look on her face. Clearly the news that he would be holidaying with Daphne Greengrass hadn't gone down well, then again... What conversation had, since the unfortunate incident in March? It had been nine months of awkwardness, random kissing, insults and silent treatment. Hermione had told him that she was over him and he was free to kiss, or dismiss any witch that he wanted to, but the look on her face made him uncomfortable.

"Only a month, calm yourself. We've nearly finished the second potion anyway. I'm sure by the time I get back you'll be finished and soaking up the glory." Severus didn't want to play games with this witch, but he could be a cruel man and taking her virginity and all of the experiences that went along with it, were not something he could do without hurting her and/or pushing her away. What he had with Daphne didn't make him happy, but contentedness and a mutual respect for companionship were enough for both of them; whereas Hermione would only be content with love of the truest form, and a family... None of that was what he wanted, and why should he give up his life so she could play Molly Weasley?

"Oh whatever, Severus. Go hole yourself up in some cabin in the woods with your bimbo. I'll actually do some fucking work." she slammed her fist down on the table, damn near breaking her wand which laid there. "Why are you still here? Don't you have places to be?" she was being petulant and selfish, but she didn't care.

Severus walked up to her and placed a gentle hand on her face, lifting her chin so she could look into his steely eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she waited for him to kiss her, but he didn't. He moved his face to her ear and in the most cruel of voices that he could managed, he broke her heart and any self esteem she felt, with a few cold words.

"This is why you're unlovable to me. You're a brat, you think yourself higher than any other woman who isn't completely focussed on book-smarts. You see Daphne as a whore, you saw Lavender as one... Maybe you should wonder why the men you want keep running off to the people you view as whores."

Hermione slapped him right then and there, she felt hot tears run down her face – and while Severus had only intended to be cruel, so she'd let him go, he felt his entire body tense as he looked at the girl he'd just broken. The Potion's master reached forward to pull her into him, but her body froze and she didn't reciprocate the embrace. Instead it was her turn to be cruel, she didn't whisper and nor did she shout.

"I'd take the suffering, the shaking, the memory loss and all of the anxiety. I'd take it all if it meant that I'd never have begun working with you, any symptom that you can suffer is less cruel than you."

**-o-**

**(A/N) Thankyou for all of the reviews, follows and favourites. I can't believe this story has had over 600 views. Keep it coming, it really motivates me to write more. **


	5. Pretty Girl

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

_She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and  
>Her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men<br>And that's what you get for falling again  
>You can never get him out of your head<br>And that's what you get for falling again  
>You can never get him out of your head<em>

**Chapter Four – ****Pretty Girl**

_**1**__**st**__** February 2000**_

Hermione hadn't expected Severus to come back from his holiday in such good spirits, to be quite honest she hadn't expected him to come back at all. The one thing she certainly hadn't expected was to walk into the Hogwarts dungeons and gaze upon the blonde vision that was Daphne Greengrass.

"You're Hermione Granger" the blonde spat, visibly clenching her boyfriend's hand even tighter as though the Gryffindor was a threat – she currently wasn't. Hermione had lost just under a stone in a month, her hair was a mess and her skin looked sallow. Heartbreak was truly something that could ruin a girl's looks, but she didn't have time to care or even acknowledge the presence of the other two people in the room as she sat on the floor and began charming ingredients that were going to be used in her potion.

"I don't think you should-" Severus began to interrupt her as she charmed a jar of spider venom, but was quickly quieted by a glare from his ex-student. The brunette didn't have time to listen to Severus, he had been away for a month and probably hadn't even read the potion updates, if he had then he would know exactly what she was doing and why she was doing it. "Daphne, could you leave us alone for a few moments?" he asked his partner softly, and the blonde placed a passionate kiss on his lips as a response, not taking her eyes off of Hermione as she did so.

Hermione knew it was petty to curse the door so that neither Daphne, nor Severus could re-open it once the blonde had left, but she really couldn't sit and watch them eat eachother's face, and she had hopes Severus had more respect for her than to bring his witch (or bitch) to their dungeons in the first place. "Don't even begin to lecture me, Severus. I do not have the time. Some of us have work to do, if you want to be useless then take her to a cheap motel and have your way with her."

"I may well do that, better than sitting here with a bitter virgin." his words were said so calmly that Hermione almost missed the insult, but it was her turn to smirk now. She continued to charm her venom, letting the smile on her face unnerve the potions master, and she had barely counted back from ten before he caught on. "You're not a virgin anymore, are you?"

"Age really doesn't make a man, does it? Victor isn't much older than me, but he could do the job. It wasn't emotional, and it wasn't awkward like you have said it would be. I'm sure the neighbours could hear the screams, and I could barely walk for a week we had sex so much but who cares?" the words didn't sound like Hermione, and that made him sad. The expression she wore, rivalled the one that he wore whenever James Potter was mentioned. Had he really caused her so much pain that she had gone off to screw another wizard, just to get it over with? She didn't deserve any of this, but he couldn't help but feel angry at her casual and brutal attempts of jealousy.

"And you thought Lavender was a whore..." _  
><em> 

**-****o-**

Severus wasn't one for romantic strolls, but after the days chaos with Hermione, he had succumbed to Daphne's whims and was now pacing round Hogsmeade with his partner, taking in the sights he'd seen a thousand times before. There was snow on the ground, and it should have been beautiful, but it wasn't.

Once outside of the Hog's Head, he heard cheering and laughing, thinking that it was a jovial place to visit he took Daphne inside into the warmth, and died a little as he saw Hermione Granger and some simpleton dancing on a bar to a muggle record. Aberforth shrugged his shoulders when he met Severus' gaze, but Daphne couldn't stop laughing.

"Oh she's such a state. No wonder you weren't interested." he didn't have time to tell her that he had been very interested, and the only reason he wasn't bending her over a desk somewhere right now, is that in the heat of the moment he had only been concerned with the status of her hymen and saving himself from all of emotional bullshit that came with bedding virgins. "Is he _grinding_ on her? This is hilarious. I need some white wine."

The idiot in question was very much so grinding on her, but a well placed hex made him fall off of the bar and into a pile of glasses – the attention was turned to his injuries, and Hermione had stopped her dancing, shaking her head in exasperation as she met the Potion Master's gaze. "I hope he's alright, he must have missed his footing." Daphne craned her neck to see over the bar, the man was currently being tended to by Aberforth and Severus was glad that at least one of his witches hadn't suspected foul play.

**-****o-**

_**14**__**th**__** February 2000**_

When Severus Snape entered the dungeons on Valentines day, he was immediately met with masses of cards and presents all addressed to Hermione. He hadn't known if Hermione had placed them here to rile him up, or her owl had brought them here straight away – either way, the eight-seven boxes he counted had annoyed him greatly. An annoyance that was only made worse when the lucky girl herself walked in, smiling. It was as though she knew about her gifts, maybe she really had done this on purpose...

"Morning, Severus." she greeted him far too calmly, what had happened to her? Surely she wasn't this good an actress... The past few months they had barely managed to be in the same room as eachother without explosions, and now she was talking to him as though nothing had happened.

"Have you had a personality transplant, Miss Granger?" he asked rudely, as the witch handed him a cup of coffee. Hermione chuckled and shook her head, somehow there was a light in her eyes again. It was like someone had flicked a switch – he loved it and hated it at the same time. "You look... _Happy_."

The Gryffindor continued to chuckle and throw her head back, but there was now a bittersweet expression on her face "Your antics always did make me laugh. It's quite simple really. I've found myself falling in love again. With potions and with you..." there was no malice in her words, and as hard as he tried to figure out what she was talking about... He couldn't.

"You see, I was using my pensieve and searching through old memories, just to check if I had not investigated certain ideas." she spoke in an angelic tone and his heart tugged slightly as he waited for the words that may cause another argument or another round of pain for them both. "I've done it, Severus. I've finished the Imperius cure. Tried and tested it on myself, no anxiety whatsoever. I've been on the telephone to the Ministry all morning. They think we can have both of our potions on shelves by September!"

"No interference with the Cruciatus cure?" he was holding his breath, but when Hermione grinned at him, he knew that they had finally done it and he couldn't stop himself from pulling her into a tight embrace. He moved back slightly, so he could see her face. He was about to kiss her but she turned her head to the side.

"Don't." she whispered, dropping her head into her hands. There were tears running down her face but she didn't make a sound, other than breathing more heavily than normal. "You have Daphne now. You think less of me than you did, and to kiss you now... As much as I want to would make me no better than Lavender Brown. Even if I hate Daphne for managing to get your heart."

"Hermione, she doesn't... I have feelings for you. I don't know to what depth, but I know that I need you in my life." his voice was pleading, he could feel her slipping away from him and it was all his fault. He had mocked her for being a virgin, mocked her for losing her virginity and crushed all of the self esteem she had ever felt. Severus thought back to her heartbreak when her engagement had ended, the girl shaking on the floor unable to pick herself up or even hold herself upright... Now she had cured herself, but he had pushed her into a situation that was much worse. It was as though he had dangled a carrot in front of her, and snapped it in half. The ageing wizard had made it so that no matter what she was, she had never felt right or good enough. It was just too late. "Please don't walk out of this room, and never speak to me again. I can't have another Lily Evans."

For a moment, Hermione stood silently; contemplating all of the thing she could do right now – she could kiss him and make him her own, slap him for all of the terrible doings he had done, or she could be the girl that she had strived to be all of her life. Hermione Granger needed to rustle up some Gryffindor courage, and some Slytherin lying ability.

"I won't be another Lily Evans, we can still be friends. It's better this way, I promise." and although she didn't believe a single word that she said, she was glad that Severus didn't seem quite to desperate anymore.

**(A/N) Over 20 follows, over 700 views! I'm so overwhelmed. Your reviews have been lovely, keep reviewing and motivating me. I'd love to know what you think of the story, seeing as this was the last "past" chapter. Next chapter we are jumping right where the story began. Hermione's 21****st****. **


	6. All you had to do was stay

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

_People like you always want back the love they gave away  
>And people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed<br>The more I think about it now the less I know  
>All I know is that you drove us off the road <em>

**Chapter F****ive – ****All you had to do was stay**

_**1**__**9**__**th**__** September 2000**_

Hermione didn't like to cry, but she had found herself doing it more than ever before. It was a strange feeling when you found your soul had been broken, knowing that the person who had broken you was a truly reprehensible individual... Yet, still loving them. The worst part was that Severus had never pretended to be anything other than what he was, his moments of kindness (as glorious as they were) were truly fleeting, and his moments of rage outweighed anything else – it was as though he were an angry child acting out at the world, but he wasn't. Severus Snape wasn't a man who could throw his dummy out of the pram and it not affect anyone, his tantrums and bitterness had truly broken someone... Daphne was merely there to rub salt on the wounds.

"You need to eat, dear. You're all skin and bone." Molly Weasley suggested, holding out a plate of sandwiches and a small teapot. Normally, the brunette would have savaged the sandwiches and swallowed the tea as though it was supplying oxygen, but right now she had a knotted stomach and her eyes stung from crying. It was six in the evening, and the day had managed to past speedily and slowly at the same time. Hermione didn't know whether it was dragging because of the pain, or dragging because of the people fussing round her. "I won't take no for an answer." Molly insisted, handing the skinny girl a ham sandwich and looking at her expectantly.

"I don't want a sandwich, I don't want a cup of tea. I don't want attention, I just want to be on my own." Hermione snapped and apparated away without any sense of where she was going. It was dark for a September night, and while it wasn't freezing out, the witch wished that she had brought a jacket.

**-o-**

Severus Snape was not a happy man, he wasn't even remotely content with life. Looking around the drawing room of his country estate, he watched his bride-to-be complain about dust and "junk" that cluttered the room, and sighed inwardly. If Hermione had been here, she would no doubt be inspecting the few books in sight, and asking for information about several of the artefacts that were found. It wasn't a nice thing to compare one woman to another, but if he could do that to Hermione, he could certainly do it to Daphne.

"Severus, I really think you need to consider the London apartment. We could be so happy there, see shows at night and dine in pretty restaurants." she looked at him with eyes that made him want to fall asleep and never wake up. Her eyes were steely and cruel, they weren't warm and vulnerable like Hermione...

It always came back to that naive little Gryffindor, the one he had pushed away all those months ago. The ageing Professor knew the wrongs he had dealt her, but there wasn't a way to fix it. He would have obliviated her and relinquished her from all of the pain, but why shouldn't she know what a bastard he had been? There were many regrets in Severus' life, but most of the ones he would go back and change, were the ones relating to Hermione Granger. It was one thing to have cast out Lily Evans, but Hermione had seen all of the dark things he had done – she had bore the brunt of his cruelty for almost two years, and she still offered her love on a plate. In some respects she was stronger than Lily, but at least Lily had gathered enough sense to stay away from him.

The most evil thing that Severus had done (in his opinion) was drive her into the arms of a man she hadn't even had the faintest bit of a crush on, and let him bed her so she could be "worthy"... It was all so sick, what had he wanted her to be worthy of? Severus groaned so loud that Daphne had actually stopped talking for the first time in an hour, he couldn't complain though... He was the one who had made this life for himself.

**-o-**

Hermione wasn't quite sure how she'd ended up in the middle of a cold field in her pyjamas, a fire lit to warm her bones and a blanket transfigured from leaves. It was a strange situation, she'd admit that; but right now she was relaxed and had time to think about everything. Normally, she'd have contacted someone or tried to find some sort of civilization... What was the point? The people who liked her couldn't understand why she loved such a cruel man, and the cruel man she loved couldn't accept her love until he had truly broken her down to the door, chewed her up, let her heal slightly and then spat her out.

Of all the things he could have said, asking her to officiate her wedding was the most vile and repugnant of them all. If she had been less of a woman, she would have kissed him that night – she would have let him do unspeakable things to her all around that office, she would have woken up with him and not given a care for the girlfriend he had waiting at home, she would have not confused love and sex. Yet, where Severus was concerned they were one and the same. The night was growing darker, and she was surprised to see an unfamiliar owl swoop overhead and drop a heavy envelope in her lap.

_Hermione, _

_I'm writing to you because I know about your feelings towards my husband-to-be, I want you to stay away from him. You will smile and be happy, officiate the wedding and act as though your feelings for him are nothing more than platonic, I will go home with him and take him to bed while you sit crying, knowing that I'm taking him to the edge while your only companion is a novel and a packet of sleeping tablets. _

_If you don't do this, I will make sure your life is a living Hell. I will make sure that Rita Skeeter knows all about your dealings with Victor Krum, and about how you lost your virginity to him in a jealous rage, trying to make my fiance jealous. She'll know about how you gave him a blowjob, just because. Not even questioning whether he has a partner before you drop to your knees like a little whore. _

_Regards, Daphne. _

The funny thing was, that Hermione wasn't at all bothered about the letter. Daphne could tell the world that she had lost her virginity to someone she trusted and had known years, and that in a moment of passion she had participated in a sexual act with someone she loved. It didn't make one slightly difference to Hermione whether the rest of the world viewed her as a whore or a hero, she had Severus had created two amazing potions and their personal life couldn't muddy the reputation or the effects that they were to have on the world.

Hermione laughed to herself as she tore up her foul words and burned them on the open fire, watching as Daphne's evil was incinerated. It was oddly relaxing, Hermione wished that she could take all of her bad experiences and burn them, but then she wouldn't be Hermione Granger... Not that it would always be a bad thing.

**(A/N) Your reviews are amazin and I can't believe over 1500 have read this story already. I'm amazed. This chapter is quite brief, but it's a transitioning one to get your into their states of mind. **


	7. Rolling in the Deep

**Disclaimers **

**I do not own 'Harry Potter' or anything related to it.**

**This is an 'M' Rated story, and should not be read by anyone who is easily offended.**

**PLEASE READ AUTHOR NOTE AT END. THERES A GIVEAWAY! **

___The scars of your love remind me of us__  
><em>_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all__  
><em>_The scars of your love, they leave me breathless__  
><em>_I can't help feeling__  
><em>_We could have had it all__  
><em>_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside of your hand__  
><em>_And you played it, to the beat_

**Chapter ****Six**** – ****Rolling in the Deep**

_**23**__**rd**__** December 2001**_

There was much that could change in the course of a year, bonds could be formed or broken, and people could change drastically. Hermione Granger had never wanted to break bonds, and she had rather like who she used to be, but as the muggles frequently said - "Shit happens."

Hermione had accomplished a lot in the past year, having three new potion credits under her belt, and an honorary Masters from the Ministry of Magic. It was perfect for her that she was now considered a Mistress of Potions, and she hadn't even had to suffer from a brutal apprenticeship with Severus Snape! Hermione hadn't spoken to the Professor since the day after her twenty-first birthday, when she had politely told him and Daphne that she would rather declare herself Slytherin, than officiate their wedding and that they had no business ever contacting her again – and they hadn't, until now.

_Hermione,_

_I know how we left things and that you said you never wanted to speak to me again, but I need to know whether you are attending the Award Ceremony tonight for our potions. If you will be in attendance then I will not bring Daphne with me, as I fear it may be awkward for all of us at our table. I hope you are well, and congratulations on your Masters. I know that you deserve it, as well as your success on your last three potions. _

_- S.S_

It wasn't in Hermione's best interests to respond to the letter, if she said she wasn't going then it would look like she was trying to stir things up by turning up, and if she said that she was then Severus wouldn't bring Daphne and she would be forced to speak to him all night. No, it was best to just burn the letter and forget it ever was sent, after all she did have a dress to choose. If the person who had broken her heart and his beautiful wife were going to be sat at her table, then she would have to look extra special.

**-o-**

"So Hermione, tell me why you decided to improve the contraceptive potion? I find it fascinating that you actually managed to get a one-hundred percent effective potion." one of the boring suits at Hermione's table asked her as she sipped champagne and tried to look interested in what he was saying.

"Well, Gerry. I know how some people get carried away in the heat of the moment and think they want something, but then later think about it and they realise that their passion and feelings were misplaced. I'd hate for myself or anyone else to find themselves in that situation, then to be told that a child was on the way. The Wizarding economy isn't what it once was, and we aren't all suited to having children. I see no reason for accidents to happen anymore. There is now a free option, to prevent it. We've also placed charms on the bottles so if you live within three miles of a stockist. You can accio the potion." Hermione had baffled every male at the table, and caught the glares of the women on their arms. In particular, Daphne Snape looked as though her feathers had been ruffled by Hermione's mentions of misplaced passion. It was delightful.

"So you don't think that you're promoting promiscuity?" Daphne bit out, trying to look civil but having no such effect. "I mean, aren't we supposed to promote family values and unity. Not that you can have sex with no repercussions?" the blonde looked rather smug, probably because she'd managed to use a word with more than two syllables.

"People can have a family and be using the potion. I notice that you and Severus have been married over a year and have no children, it's not just for single witches. It has a use in many situations. Sometimes children are not a necessary addition to a person's life, and it is that person's choice whether they want to prevent getting pregnant. I think it takes more unity to sit and have a conversation about contraception use, than it does to get pregnant on a one night stand and be forced to marry the person a month later." a few people at the table had cheered and begun clapping at Hermione's statement, leaving Daphne sour-faced and brooding. "Cheer up, Daphne. There's no need to look so glum" she couldn't stop herself from saying, as she turned to watch the Award Ceremony begin.

**-o-**

"The winner is... Professor Severus Snape and Hermione Granger for their work on the Cruciatus Cure, and the Imperius Cure. The first candidates in over three-hundred years to have two potions up in the same decade!" Hermione breezed onto stage letting her floor-length couture gown brush the ground.

"I'd like to thank all of the panel for choosing Severus and I for this award" she began saying, only stopping when she felt Severus put his arm around her waist. "It was a pleasure working with him, and we were glad that we could make a difference to the lives of those who suffered through no fault of their own. I'd like to thank Minerva McGonnagall for letting us brew in the Hogwarts Dungeons, and everyone who funded and promoted our potions, your contributions have meant a lot to us." Hermione bowed slightly and passed the crystal award to Severus, who stared at her as though she was a ghost.

"I have nothing much to add to that, other than working with this woman had truly changed my life. When she brought the potion ideas forward I thought she was crazy, but she can achieve anything. Five celebrated potions in three years is something that I've never seen done before, until Hermione. I'd also like to quickly thank my wife for her donation to the project."

Hermione had been beaming until the mention of Daphne, who was now sat smirking, looking very much like the cat who had gotten the cream. "May I?" Hermione said, silencing Severus momentarily. "I'd also like to thank Severus for encouraging me to get back in touch with old acquaintances, a big hello to Victor Krum in Bulgaria! Thanks everyone." and with that she left the ageing man on stage with his jaw dropped.

**-O-**

Hermione Granger loved taking her make-up off and getting changed into her nightwear. It was the single most relaxing part of her day, when she could snuggle up with a book and a cup of tea. The young witch had just finished her nightly routine when she heard a "pop" and, then a set of footsteps walking towards her; she barely had time to grab her wand before the intruder began to speak.

"I'm sorry." he said, she instantly recognised it as the voice of Severus Snape, but this did nothing to alleviate her anxiety. "I'm sorry for all of the hurt that I've caused you, I'm sorry that I made you feel unworthy, but please don't remind me of my mistakes because I can't take it. There is nothing that I have done in this world, that makes me feel as sick as the thought that I drove you into another man's bed, because of my stubbornness and cruelty."

Hermione's breath hitched, and she didn't say anything. What could she say? If she could change one thing about her life, it would be who she had lost her virginity to. Even though she had told Severus it was passionate and orgasmic, it had been painful and awkward. The young witch had not dared to repeat the experience, it wasn't worth it.

"I hate my life, I'm married to a woman who cannot stand me. We have not had sex since the consummation, and she makes me a little bit more miserable every day. If people think that I am cruel, they have not met Daphne. It's all made worse by the fact that you're so kind and independent, but at the same time..." he paused. "You were depending on me, you needed me and I pushed you away. I saw how you looked tonight and I you were clouding my vision. You're so beautiful, inside and out." the lights turned on, and Severus could see tear tracks down her face. Immediately he leaned in to comfort her, but she was shaking her head and trying to push him away.

"Please, don't try anything." she whispered, then let herself be pulled into a bear hug. Hermione hadn't realised that passion could be expressed through a hug, but it was. There was a years worth of desperation and neediness, regrets and despair entwining both of them. Clothes were taken off, but it didn't lead to anything. Hermione merely fell asleep with her head on Severus' chest, not quite forgiving him. Grovelling would be necessary, and there was the small matter of his wife... But what was the point in being too kind? It had never done her well before. Sometimes even a good girl needs to be bad.

**(A/N) Thankyou for all of the lovely feedback, nearly 3000 have read this now and I have nearly 50 followers. I can't believe how well received this fic is!**

**Giveaway: It's nearly xmas, and because of this I've decided to host a competition and the winner will receive a one-shot dedicated to them, that has a theme and pairing of their choice. All you need to do is review this chapter, and I'll pick a winner at random. Themes and pairings will be listed below, and if you'd like to be entered for the giveaway make sure you aren't anonymously reviewing and that you list your pairing and theme of choice in the same review. You can tell me if you want the one shot to include lemons or not, and I promise to have the fiction up within a day of announcing the winner. I wish you all luck, and I hope that there are a lot of entrants! :D **

**I may do a few more of these throughout the course of this fiction, if you like them. Please let me know if you think that they're a good idea. **

**Pairing choices **

**Luna x George**

**Hermione x Snape**

**Remus x Ginny**

**Theme Choices**

"**Christmas at the Burrow"**

"**We're in the middle of a war" **

"**Misplaced love potion"**


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